The neighbor is still next door where we are constantly reminded of what happened. In some of us it sparks a sense refusal to be pushed around by fear so we park as usual in our driveway. Yet some days, we park in the other neighbors driveway to avoid the area. Sometimes it just depends on who has to get in the car next to avoid traumatizing them again. Some minutes we think we are going to be OK and others we just want to cry or shout or scream. Nothing really makes any sense to us but we are doing our best to move forward in trust that God can and will work this all out for good somehow.
Oct. 1, Chris put a for sale sign in his yard. We have very mixed feelings about that for a lot of reasons but Noah and Eli are hopeful. I just pray they aren't disappointed.
Oct. 2, he had a pretrial. Marty and I went and talked to the prosecuting attorney that morning but we were told it would be the lawyers in a room discussing the case, so rather than sit in the same room as Chris we went about the rest of our day and waited for news. We found out the mayor and Larry (Marty's step dad) were there and that they were able to listen in. Larry shared with Marty but we haven't had more than a few minutes to talk so I don't know the full story, yet. What I do know is that it was deemed to be too complicated and the case was continued for another pretrial on Nov.13. This time we are taking off of work and we will be there.
Because he seems to be moving some stuff out Chris is out in his yard a lot lately. This seems to have sent the boys backward and they won't go outside again. When they do it's only to the van and only with us while they race to get inside the vehicle. They go out the front door for school very tentatively because they are afraid he will be in his yard. I thought we were making progress but now I'm not so sure.
Last night Noah came in my room crying because he dreamed that Chris shot his brother Matthew then turned the gun on him and said, "I'm gonna blow your head off." I know many of you were praying and are praying but if you think of it prayers that they can sleep without bad dreams are still needed.
We still miss Puppy and expect him to appear at any minute but he never does. I would love to get another one to at least help fill the void but we still have no fence and a crazy neighbor so I can't. Please pray things will happen quickly so we can move on and not be constantly stuck in that day. Just when I think we have moved forward the boys see him and we go all the way back where we started. It breaks this mamma's heart.