Blog Posts

Our Powerful Privilege

1/30/2013

This song is so encouraging!

Prayer is not a new thought for me as many of you already know. I remember my Mom and Dad praying with us as kids every night. Usually we would end by singing a prayer lullaby that I have passed on to my children as well. I'm not sure when I became aware of my parents prayers but I would guess about my teen years when they would simply tell me that they had been praying about this or that for me.

I started keeping a journal in June of 1986 and somewhere along the line it went from "Dear Diary" to "Dear Lord". In 1992, my husband and I found devotionals to be too tidy with nothing to really discuss after we read them together so we started reading Frank Peretti's book, "This Present Darkness". Boy did that spark discussions and bring encouragement. It helped us to think about life beyond what we see and feel so that we could be reminded and aware that God is at work behind the scenes. Before that gets misunderstood, let me clarify that we still read and study the Word this was just what we did together as a catalyst for discussion. I really miss it, maybe we'll have to pick up another good book together. Sometime in the early 2000's, I remember mowing the lawn and praying for our church which was without a pastor. "A praying man is coming" ran through my mind so strongly and so continually it was almost audible. I thought immediately of "This Present Darkness" and associated it with the praying pastor in the small town of the book because that is what he was often called.

Before I knew it we had that pastor and he had me in his office asking if I would consider creating and leading a prayer team! Talk about ripping me out of my comfort zone! I avoided prayer meetings because that might mean I had to pray out loud. Besides how can you pray for that long? I will keep it short by saying God did a work in me through Salem United Methodist Church in Bettsville, OH that has caused me to treasure those people very close to my heart. I gathered a precious prayer team who encouraged me and prayed with me. Pastor Mike asked me to start sharing a minute or two thought on prayer each week and then lead the congregation in prayer. For some that might be easy but nothing could be more impossible for me. I took other classes I didn't really like to make sure I stayed out of speech class. There was no way you were going to get me in front of other people to speak. And remember my thoughts of praying out loud? I barely did it alone let alone in front of a crowd. But that church encouraged and welcomed and put up with my attempts for many years. We learned so much together. I remember being at a church meeting around the time I was first asked to be the prayer team leader. There was this idea of, "All we can do is pray", as if it were a last ditch effort of futility. Recently I went back for something and heard it said on more than one occasion, "First we need to pray about this". It did my heart good to know that He who began a good work in us is continuing to complete it. What a treasure all of my Bettsville family is.

That was were I first had the chance to use writing as a regular encouragement. Each week I wrote a snippet about prayer on the backside of a prayer request list that I handed out at the end of every service. Everyone was invited to pray for everyone and God came through in ways none of us could have imagined. He also showed us that His answer isn't always yes. That is why we are no longer there. Through a lot of heart ache we are now here in Pemberville but God is faithful and good.

Sometimes when life doesn't go the way we think it ought or when we don't have the same support group encouraging us to pray and praying with us, it's easy to let it slide and begin to act as if it is trivial, even if we would adamantly deny such a thought with our mouth. But some things have come up lately that just gave me a fresh gratitude for it and even a few new perspectives on it that I wanted to share.

Recently my little sister went through a trial that broke my heart. I wanted to hug her and help her and make it all better like a big sister should. But she lives in California and as such is terribly out of my reach. I felt helpless and angry that I couldn't at least be there to hold her hand or care for her babies as she walked through this ordeal. But God reminded me that I can pray. What a gift!!!! I am not helpless and I don't have to be angry with inability. I can rejoice that God knew we would need to be able to reach out to those we love when it is physically impossible. He knew that sometimes in life, in fact, most of the time in life, we cannot heal the hurts of those we love and we would feel useless. So he gave us an incredible power to partner with Him in touching and healing our loved ones. He doesn't need us to tell him what's going on but He invites us to pour out our hearts to Him and direct His attention to specific things. He gave us the power to pray and KNOW that he hears and acts on our behalf. Is that not the most awesome gift?! I could pray for my sister and know that He would provide her with exactly what she needed using the power that He has offered us in prayer. WOW!

There were some other issues that were just dragging me down. Things that made it hard to see the sunshine through the rain. I did what so many of us do in those times, I pulled inside myself and played thoughts of discouragement over and over in my head. Thankfully, even though I may be prone to do that when things aren't going the way I imagine they should, God has never allowed me to wallow there too long and he kept nudging me to pray. I felt that I had prayed and disappointment is what I got. Wallow,,,wallow...Finally, I got real with Him and poured out all my hurts and disappointments and fears concerning the issue. I was brutally honest and He took it all. He forgave me and I could feel a fresh attitude fill my being as rays of sunshine began to put a rainbow on my heart. All because of the incredible privilege of prayer.

I just started a Bible study with some ladies at church on the book of James. I knew it would be good because I love James and I love the Bible study teacher - Beth Moore. But even in just the first verse, God began to work on my heart and help me to see things I had forgotten or never known. In fact, by week 2, day 1, I was brought to my knees with realization about somethings that I had been praying about for over a year. It was just one of those moments when I knew that God had James and Beth write those exact words just for me so many years ago. I heard His voice in the pages of Scripture all because of the power of prayer. Yes, that's right. I called reading the Word - prayer. After all, what is prayer but a conversation with God? When better can we hear his voice than when we read the love note he left us called the Bible. Maybe our prayers are too one sided. Are we doing all the talking? Maybe we should open up our Bibles and do some listening. I certainly needed to.

Someone else that I love has been battling with some issues that just don't seem to offer any easy answers. What am I saying - easy answers? They don't seem to offer any answers at all! I wanted so badly to say and do the right things to make it all work out. I wanted to lift them up instead of watch them give up. But I didn't have any answers. I don't know the right way. But my Jesus does. So instead of worrying I now lay my hands on thing that I know they will touch and I pray for God to give them wisdom and direction and a vision that will illuminate them again. I don't have to badger them to change. I don't have to try to be the one to make them change. I don't have to say or do just the right things to make anything happen. That gives me too much power where I should be powerless. It is not my job to make anyone into anything. Instead because of the power of prayer I can rest in Christ knowing He loves them even more than I do. He has a plan and a hope for their life and He will complete it. When they lay their head on that pillow they may not know there is power of a prayer waiting to move on their life but God and I do. And I get the privilege of a front row seat as God unfolds another chapter in the life of someone I love dearly without me feeling like I have to interfere and write the chapter myself. What peace in prayer!

When my children are trying to figure out life and they ask me for advice. I can pray for wisdom and God who gives generously without finding fault will give it. When I can't find that important paper I need, I can pray and God who knows everything can lead me to it. When I am afraid, I can pray and God will give me a sound mind and cast out all fear. I could go on and on but I know you have things to do besides read this so I will bring this to a close. (Thank you for taking the time to read this. It is such an encouragement to me.)

One last thing. If you go to the prayer page and sign up I will put you on my list of prayer warriors. Whenever I get prayer requests I will pass them on because I know there is the privilege of power in prayer. With that privilege comes responsibility as well so please make sure that you actually pray for the requests. If you have a prayer request or praise I hope you will trust us to pray with you about it. God does something powerful in our hearts when we pray together and see Him move. It is also very healing to be able to take our minds off of ourselves and lift up the needs of our brothers and sisters. I can't even put into words what God does with that power.

All of this power was given to us through the shed blood of our precious Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you Jesus for your gift of prayer.

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Clean

1/21/2013

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Click here for classic from Keith Green.

Wow, it's amazing what a little attitude change can do. I was getting so discouraged and overwhelmed but I told you about that last blog. After praying and asking for more contentment, I found I was much more energized and I could think much more clearly. I also discovered another little nugget to treasure.

I looked at the house and realized some things. First of all, it's been a year since we started coming to Pemberville from North Ridgeville every weekend to "work on the house". My mindset had nothing to do with moving in. I was thinking very much about how to get rid of clutter and fix walls and bathrooms or how I wanted to make the house work for us. I wasn't really thinking of "moving in", only of getting it ready. We worked on tearing out plaster or anything else that needed to go because we didn't have a lot of money to work with so we figured it was better to take care of the messy things first and that didn't cost anything until we had to pay for the dumpster.

When we moved in, I still lived in North Ridgeville for a week finishing my job. My thinking was use the living room as a storage unit and just get in but don't unpack anything there is still too much work that has to be done on the rooms before we fill them up with our stuff. I had this grand idea that we could have the upstairs finished before school started so everyone could move into their bedrooms and have a fresh start for a fresh new school. Well, we finished the bathroom before school but that was it.

Then cold weather was coming and we had to get the couch off the front porch so we shifted a lot of stuff around and created a spot for a couch. It was wonderful to finally have a place to relax but we were still surrounded by boxes and stuff that hadn't really moved in yet. Before I knew it the kids wanted to know where we would put a Christmas tree. So we decorated for Christmas and shifted more stuff to make a place for a tree.

Now Christmas is over and we live in a house that we never moved into. So I have been on a mission to make it a home for my family even though it isn't "ready". I had been avoiding that for fear that if we moved in we would become complacent about the cracked walls or lath ceiling and it would never be done. But when I took an honest assessment of the house it was a mess! We couldn't work on it if we had all the money and know how in the world. Thus began my challenge.

I started with the bedroom that Noah and Eli would share. It had layers of stuff but I forced myself to only look at what was in front of me and worked my way around the room. It took several days but eventually it took shape and finally we can walk into the room and even though it needs paint and repairs and flooring it feels like a bedroom. It feels like my children's bedroom.

I've been working my way through the house. I leave no box unopened and everything finds a place or goes to the garage sale pile or trash. I'm sure the trash collectors do not like us right now. I dust all the plaster powder off of things and sweep the floors. I arrange furniture to it's proper place and think about what works for us. It feels like maybe someone actually lives here. I'm working on the last 2 rooms now then I have to go in the basement and make some sense of it so we can use it as intended. My sister Hannah walked in this past weekend and made me smile as she exclaimed, "Misty, what did you do?! It feels so clean." Then she started trying to guess if I finished a wall or something. I never guessed a little cleaning would do that!

I discovered something else, that when you clean something you take ownership of it. I have been living in Aunt Pete's house but now that I have actually gone through each corner myself and become acquainted with it, a new sense has crept up on me that I didn't expect. I am starting to feel like this is my house. When I walk in the kitchen and work it feels like I'm working in my kitchen instead of feeling like I might mess up someone else's stuff. When I find something out of place instead of feeling a wave of stress wash over me because I don't know what to do with it, I gladly pick it up and put it where it belongs because it's my house and I know where it goes. I don't know how to put into words how satisfying that is. I had never imagined that cleaning something would do so much good.

It all got me thinking about something that I certainly wouldn't base my theology on but it was a thought. Noah and Eli were baptized on my birthday and a few weeks later Josh, Kristin and Victoria were also baptized. So now all of my kids have said publicly that they want to be obedient to Christ and be counted as one of His. I can't tell you how comforting that is. But cleaning my house to "move in" gave a new sense of meaning to baptism when I thought about my own experiences. It was my house before I cleaned it and started to "move in" but the feeling, the sense of belonging didn't come until I cleaned it and made it mine. Is that kind of what God does with baptism? Is that when he looks at all the corners and imperfections and figures out what His plan is for that home and cleans it to "move in"? Is that when the sense of ownership happens? I don't know and like I said it certainly isn't anything to build your faith on necessarily but it was a thought that for me gave an even deeper meaning to what my kids just recently did.

Or an even better analogy would be when we are going through trials and it seems like God is taking everything away. If the rooms I cleaned could talk they probably would have argued with me not to take everything out. But I had to. That's the only way to sort it and decide what was worth keeping and what wasn't. The room was just too cluttered. It may have begged me not to uncover that hidden corner where the piles of dust bunnies hid. But I had to in order to get it clean and use that space.for a much better purpose. It may have wanted me to keep that wall covered with stuff to hide the imperfections but I had to expose it in order to know how to fix the issues so it can be a beautiful and useful place. Sometimes I think we imagine that as God uncovers, unclutters, exposes and cleans our lives he must be so angry with us for all the mess but I have a different picture now. I didn't feel angry or upset, I felt energized and motivated to keep working. I felt ownership of it and it became mine. If God has to do the same for my life, I am willing if it will make me His own and it will make me useful to Him.

I've even had a few other awesome things happen since becoming more content. Marty was able to get the Culligan fixed and I can drink the water that I like best. We tried a different dish washer soap and it has made an incredible difference so that even my most caked on dishes come out clean and sparkling. I'm finding order in the chaos of my house. My Dad came over and got my stove hooked up so I can cook again! That prompted some rearranging in the kitchen. The changes are great and make it so much more user friendly, which makes it feel like mine. Marty even put a light on the ceiling so I don't have to use lamps in the kitchen. The lighting is 100% better and it makes everything feel so much happier! I've seen my girls leave the house with that glow about them that says I feel confident about myself as they try their new outfits. It has been great!

Now I'm not saying those things might not have happened anyway had I continued with my discontentment but what a wonderful gift it is to be content and recognize with gratitude the things that are going well instead of still feeling like it's just not enough.

Dear Lord,
I pray that You would continue to grow contentment in me, my family and all my blog friends as we travel this adventure together.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

Another neat thing I wanted to share about when Josh, Kristin and Toria were baptized has nothing to do with cleaning but I hope it will encourage you to be persistent in your prayers. There was another girl who was baptized at the same time. Even now it still brings tears to my eyes. She shared that she started coming to this church about a year ago and wanted to give her life to Jesus publicly. My heart burst and I couldn't stop crying all through service. She was one of the foster kids Aunt Pete used to help with. Because I know Pete and her love for those kids. And because I know her last words to me were that she prays for us everyday, I know that I know Aunt Pete also prayed for this young girl. She had no family there to witness her baptism but we were there and we celebrated with her. And I know that if Pete were still here she would have been in the front row with tears of joy streaming down her face as she witnessed first this young girl then her nieces and nephew promise their lives to an incredible Lord who would someday bring us all together in a place where death can never steal us apart again.

You may grow weary in your prayers and want to give up but God hears them and He answers when the time is right and in the way that is best. It had been about a year ago that Pete went to be with Jesus and it was then that another one of her prayers were answered as this young girl started to go to church and met Jesus as her Savior. She is now good friends with my kids and goes to school with them. What a blessing!

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Great Gain

1/6/2013

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Click for a song that will encourage your soul.

Christmas morning was so much fun! We had gifts far beyond our ability to purchase and much more than we could have dreamed. We sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus and Matthew. The food was yummy and everyone was in a good mood. Following Christmas we even had the opportunity to travel to a hotel where we went swimming and just plain hung out. The next day we visited the Creation Museum and planetarium. Then we got to visit with Marty's side of the family and see our old table refinished and repaired. Finally we headed home and visited with Patty who is here from Arizona. She was like a second mom to me and I haven't seen her for years. You would think that I would wake up the next morning just happy to be alive. I couldn't have imagined a nicer Christmas had I made it up myself but instead I woke up slapping the air at the tireless flies buzzing around my head.

The crack in the ceiling seemed bigger today. Taking a deep breath I could smell the awful "treasures" Alley cat had left me in the night and I could only hope it wasn't all over the floor again. The rough wooden floor boards felt dirty. I had to rummage through clothes to find something that fit. If only I could get a closet and actually unpack. I did a balancing act to open my wardrobe door grumbling because it didn't really open with the small space between my bed and the door. My to do list loomed like a skyscraper before me. Walking out of my room I was greeted with gifts strewn around that had no place they belonged. Furniture was moved into odd places to make room for the tree, "This is ridiculous," I complained as I climbed over the arm of the coach, which was the route of least resistance. Entering the dining room the missing wall drew my attention. Those studs are so ugly, not even the stockings made it look better. Shuffling into the kitchen I stubbed my toe on the raised sub floor filled with stains. A cold draft dropped down through the slats we call a ceiling and snowed insulation all over my counters. The overcast day only added to the gloom since the only kitchen light is a single bulb over the sink. Reaching into the dishwasher for a glass I found it to be less than clean. "Urgh!, I want my old dishwasher," I said to no one, "this one never cleans worth anything." After washing out the glass, I reached to turn on the Culligan only to be reminded that the tubing sprang a leak and Marty had to shut it off but hadn't had time to fix it yet. I put the glass back in the cupboard, "Lord," I said more out of habit than attitude, "where do I start?" I really wasn't listening just complaining some more and I headed for the laundry room. Piles of unwashed laundry filled the hallway and a few baskets of clean unfolded clothes baskets blocked the doorway. Turning on the light all I could see was the mess. After getting a load running I ascended the stairs, the holes in the wall were growing. I could tell because there were pieces of plaster I had to dodge. The floor covering was curling where the pieces came together and I tripped but didn't fall. "I hate that stuff," I thought as I made my way into the bathroom. Flipping on the light I could see new bubbles in the paint. The weight of all that needed done rested heavily on my shoulders, I had thought we at least accomplished this room. But of course, we don't know what we are doing so why would it be done right the first time? We have to strip all the new paint off, put a new kind of primer on and paint it all again! We painted before putting in the floor and cabinet on purpose. Eli called me from his room so I went to see what he needed. He couldn't find any pants. It's no wonder, the whole room is layers and layers of stuff. Josh got tired of the mess and cleaned his room depositing boxes of their packed toys into their room. The problem was, their room still had a bunch of stuff in it from Aunt Pete and their mattresses only left a tiny pathway. It didn't take long for even those to be filled up when they discovered their long lost toys were just under the flaps of each box. Add to that, the fact that I hadn't gone through their drawers in a year so the clothes that didn't fit were still in there leaving no room for the few that did fit and you have a recipe for major disaster area. I couldn't find any pants either so I went down and dug through the clean laundry to find a pair. Jared called me from the kitchen wondering what he could eat. I wished food had never been invented as I pushed this and that aside looking for something quick and satisfactory. Today was just not going to be a great day.

The girls had some returns to make so we headed to the mall. I felt as if my senses had been assaulted. I don't normally shop at the mall and really haven't been to one for awhile. All around me were signs and pictures even the shoppers themselves somehow reminding me how plain I've become. I felt so out of place in my worn out tennis shoes, baggy jeans and over-sized coat. Smells of all kinds made me want to buy food but that wasn't in the budget so I was reminded again that I don't have the privilege of wanting something and getting it. The price tags were overwhelming as I thought, this is a sale price???? After several hours of standing in lines and shopping we were finally able to get in the van and head home. I ached all over.

We drove home past pretty houses with nice landscaping. I wondered what they looked like inside. I imagined thick plush carpet and painted walls. Brightly lit kitchens with granite counter tops and appliances that work well. In some of the windows I could see big beautiful chandeliers and I could just picture the shiny wooden floors and decorations to welcome guests. I bet they even have a place to put coats and boots. I could almost smell the aromas of air fresheners that would make the scene complete, unlike the stench of a cat who only mostly uses the litter box. When I returned home I found my husband playing games with the boys. I chewed him out under my breath as I tried to put something together for supper. I burned the rolls because only the bottom element works in the oven. The noodles took forever to cook because the burner decides sometimes to shut off randomly. Matthew came in to see if he could cheer up my sour mood but instead he got an earful of how I can't stand this place and the mess and how I'm not getting what I wanted. Yes, I sounded like a spoiled brat as I climbed up and down the ladder to reach things I needed in the top cupboards. He left me alone to wallow in my own self pity.

Finally, I was quiet long enough for that prayer I'd uttered in the morning to be answered. Quietly in the back of my mind a thought emerged uninvited. It was so quiet at first that I almost didn't hear it but as I stormed around clattering pans it grew stronger. I pushed it aside, that was the last thing I needed right now. It came back again this time a little louder. "Godliness with contentment is great gain." So started my wrestling match with the Word.

"How am I supposed to be content living like this? I wanted to have Bible studies and welcome people into my home. How am I supposed to ever welcome people into this construction zone mess that will never be finished? My kids are too embarrassed to even invite their friends over, how will I ever reach out to others and show them You if they never come? How will I ever be able to take the time to write those books, if all my time is spent trying to figure out how to do things I don't even know how to do? When can I get the kids a puppy, that's what I promised them, instead, I have a cat. Not only that, it's the same cat that I didn't want 17 years ago! I can't keep up with the everyday stuff let alone trying to do all these projects to try to create some semblance of a home. I never wanted fancy but can I at least have nice? I know, I know...look at the people in third world countries, they would love to have all this. Well, if I lived like the people in third world countries the authorities would come and take my kids away for negligence and unsanitary conditions. If I lived in a third world country I'd blend in and my kids wouldn't have to feel like freaks, so don't even try to tell me about how good I have it compared to others. You want to compare? What about those people who live in nice houses with good jobs to pay for stuff? You want to compare? Let's compare that." I threw my tantrum and went on with my day thinking I'd won because that uninvited thought was silent.

Thankfully, God is too loving to let us get away with such foolishness. The next morning while all was quiet and I lay still in bed that thought was loud and clear. "Do you want to know how to be content? You don't do it by comparing yourself to others. If you look down, you only put others down to feel better. If you look up, you can never win. My story for them is different than My story for you. Do you really think you become content by comparing? You know better than that. Think about it. You know the answer, I've been teaching you for many years, you've just forgotten."

I pondered. The Bible could have just said, godliness is great gain but God wanted us to know that godliness with contentment is great gain so contentment must be something to be desired and sought after. But how? What is contentment anyway? Is it not wanting anything anymore? I don't think so. Wasn't Paul in prison when he said he had learned the secret of being content? I'm certain if offered freedom he wouldn't turn it down. I'm sure he thought of it often, in fact, in many of his letters to the churches he talks about his hope to be free and see them again. If contentment is to stop desiring a thing then Paul was not content and I'm not sure anyone ever could be. Where would the motivation and drive to do anything come from if contentment meant to stop desiring? So what is it?

I thought about my Dad and Mom. He was out of regular work for 8 years after being a manager at a company that downsized him out after 20 faithful years. If anyone has a right to be discontent it is my Dad but he is probably the most content person I know. He certainly desires things but those things don't own him.

A scene from Veggie Tales played in my mind over and over again. Larry was showing Bob all his gadgets and stuff that he had recently gotten. He was going on about the other things he also wanted when Bob interrupted him to ask, "Larry, how many things do you need before you can be happy?" Larry didn't miss a beat as he answered, "I don't know Bob. How many things are there?" It got me thinking. There will always be one more thing that would make life easier or nicer or more comfortable no matter how much I get. So, if being content isn't reaching some plateau of having enough and it isn't ceasing to desire or comparing myself to someone with less, what exactly is it?

It must be focusing on Jesus. Well, OK, that's the Sunday school answer. But what does that look like? Godliness requires focusing on Jesus.. How else can you be a reflection of Him, if you don't know what He's like? Why then is contentment something separate? Why does it bring great gain?

What does focusing on Jesus look like in my everyday to keep me content? I thought back through my sour attitudes. What if instead of looking at what others had and comparing myself or instead of looking at everything I want that I don't have, I simply looked at what I do have through Jesus? What if instead of complaining about the fly buzzing around, I thank God that I can wake up? What if I thank him for the ceiling I have and praise Him that it hasn't fallen down? Instead of being upset by the dust on the floors, I can thank Him that I have floors that aren't made of dirt and I even have a sweeper to clean them. In fact, the dust shows that we are working on the house, that's why it's so dusty! What if instead of grumbling about the tree and gifts strewn around, I am grateful for the fact that many people loved us enough to give us gifts and that Kristin got her wish. We had a tree up for Christmas, thanks to a ton of help from Marty's Mom as well as my kids and husband. Maybe instead of seeing how ugly the studs are I can be thankful for a sturdy house with such strong wood that will hopefully someday be covered again but this year it was the perfect place to put nails in the wall for stockings. The sub floor can remind me that God protected the house from extensive flood damage because of a kind neighbor who was tending to the cat that I didn't want. Besides with all the work that's being done on the house if it was a nice floor I'd be worrying myself silly over it getting ruined. So one dish didn't come clean? Wash it and be glad that because of your husband's hard work you didn't have to wash them ALL. Maybe Culligan is temporarily unavailable, that only makes it so I will appreciate it even more when I have it again and the reason Marty hasn't fixed it yet isn't because it's too hard or expensive it's just because he didn't have time. Why doesn't he have time? Because he has a job plus he's had the chance to substitute teach. Be glad for him and the fact that all his work is starting to pay off. Too much laundry? At least I have a place to wash it and a great washer to do it. It's even a cheerful place because I picked out cheerful colors and we worked hard to make it nice. Enjoy that you get to use it. Plaster crumbling and paint peeling? At least you have walls there and not studs. Why is Noah and Eli's room a disaster? Because they found their toys and they were playing instead of staring at a screen. And thank God you were able to find pants in the clean clothes even if they weren't folded and put away. The kids being hungry, well at least they aren't sick and they are home to eat! Having to dig through the food to find what you want, is that really so bad? God promised to supply all our needs, hasn't he done that in abundance. Shopping at the mall because some of the gifts didn't fit - isn't that what you wanted? Your girls got to pick out some really nice clothes and they don't have to feel like they are less than everyone else. Aching muscles, well good, you finally got some of that exercise you've been saying you wanted. Marty is actually playing with the boys and your complaining? Hello, isn't that what you pray for? He has some time to be with his kids, let him be. Maybe I'm the one who needs to lighten up. Yes, the stove and oven are annoying but God has already supplied the remedy. I brought my own stove with me, we just have to get the wiring done so we can hook it up.

Maybe, just maybe, the things keeping me from having a Bible study aren't my house, maybe it's my own attitude. Yes, I would say godliness is good. We should live lives that do what's right but if you add gratitude for what you have. If you add hope in spite of what you see. If you add recognizing the people who love you and take away the grumbling and complaining - now that's contentment and it definitely is GREAT GAIN!

I Timothy 6:6
But godliness with contentment is great gain.

P.S. After coming to my senses and allowing God to grow contentment in me, I discovered something else cool about contentment. It's energizing! We live in a culture that is never content and always tired. Hmmm...

My son Josh is the drummer for this band. They just had a concert last weekend and they also have a CD out. It is all original music by these 3 guys.

Click here to go to Creation Museum's website.

This video was put together by Josh using footage that he took while we visited the Creation Museum. I thought it was really neat.

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How do you...

12/18/2012

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May this song encourage you to hope.

How do you give birth to seven babies and not weep when you see a little child hurt? How do you spend 18 years loving and protecting little hearts and not rise up ready to war on anyone who dare lay a hand on an innocent one? How do you hear and see the stories of the news and simply send your baby to school with a little kiss on the cheek? I cannot even begin to fathom the pain and horror that so many are living through right now but if it's anything like I imagine (and it is probably much worse) then I pray over and over again that God would hold them tight.

This is not new to God. He has been comforting Mommies and Daddies for centuries as the wickedness of man so often tears out hearts. The comfort I find is when I think of all those children sitting on Jesus knee or holding his hand as together they explore the wonders of Heaven. They will never hurt again. They will never have to face the struggles and atrocities of this world again. They have been spared so much heartache and they are now surrounded by perfect abounding LOVE.

On the other hand I would not want to be the man who sent them to Heaven so soon. Jesus said that if any of us caused one of His little ones to stumble it would be better if a millstone were tied around his neck and that he be thrown into the sea. No, I would not want to be anywhere near where that man is, right now and forever.

But when I think of all the people left behind sorting through this and trying to make sense out of something so senseless, I am saddened beyond words and my heart aches for those who are seeking answers where there really are none. Dear God, please surround those who are hurting with Your family and speak your words through us. Show us the actions that will comfort and give us the wisdom to know when not to do or say anything.

My girls missed the bus today and I had to take them to school. There was much more traffic than usual and so many adults standing watch. I walked Noah to school as usual and again all around there were teachers and police standing guard over the little ones. As Noah entered the school the door was locked behind him. Later for afternoon kindergarten the scene was much the same. Parents and teachers watching extra carefully that their children were safe. I smiled to myself with understanding but also realized that the most recent tragedy happened to children who were already "safe" inside the school. So what can we do? I know this sounds trite but it is true - we can pray.

Pray for what? Their safety, of course, but sometimes safety isn't granted. What then? Do we assume that our God is not big enough? Do we assume he really doesn't care? Sometimes it feels that way. My mind flashed back to the moment I had to tell my 8 year old and 6 year old what happened in Connecticut. I felt so helpless telling them that they were safe as I saw fear spark in their eyes. I couldn't confidently tell them that nothing would happen to them because we live in a really really messed up world. Instead, I told them that we pray for them everyday and that God has His angels all around them and they would protect them and keep them safe, even if someday that safe means they hide you in Heaven.

Noah gave me that quirky little look of Mom, what on earth are you talking about? I kind of giggled glad for the tension breaker. "Think about it," I said, "What's the worst thing that could ever happen to you?"

With his finger pointing in an ahha moment, Eli declared, "You die!"

"Exactly," I exclaimed. "And when you die where are you?"

"Heaven!!" they shouted in unison.

A look of relief passed over their faces and in no time they were laughing and talking about all the stuff they can't wait to do in Heaven, like ride on a dinosaur or swim with a shark. And best of all we would all be together with Jesus. That is the hope we can give our children. It is the same hope that Jesus offers us. There is someplace where this stuff doesn't happen. There is a place where we never have to fear or cry again, it is Heaven. In our family Heaven isn't someplace we never think about, it is a place we all look forward to and desire to be in. When Jesus is your Savior then nothing this world dishes out can destroy us because even it's worst ultimately brings about the most wonderful moment of our lives - we finally enter the gates of Heaven. That is Hope in the midst of tragedy. It doesn't make being here hurt any less and it certainly doesn't suggest that we should just go on our merry way when faced with tragedy. Living here hurts. But that's why Jesus was born. He came here to live among us. He came here to hurt with us. He came here to hunger with us. He came here to feel like us and He came to tell us about a better place.

When He was born Herod sent out his army and slaughtered all of the babies two years old and under in an effort to destroy such hope as Christ. The enemy is trying again to destroy our hope, which he will succeed in doing if our hope is misplaced. Our hope can be in nothing less than Jesus! We must pass that same Hope on to our children. And they must pass it on to theirs. There are so many things in this world that will fight for our time and energy and steal away our opportunities to train them and teach them the ways of God. We must wage war against such things and give them Hope in the midst.

As Jesus grew up, the enemy tried again to steal away our Hope by getting Jesus to give up on God's plan. He tried to distract Him from what was right. He spoke nice sounding lies to try and trick him into choosing a different path. But praise God, Jesus knew Truth and would not be swayed. When faced with temptation after temptation, distraction after distraction He knew what to do. He spoke Truth into the situation and the enemy had to flee. We must teach our children to recognize the Truth so they can also cause the enemy to flee when he comes to steal, kill and destroy their minds. Scripture must be known in our homes because the enemy will try to twist it and sound similar to lead us astray. We must know the Truth so we can be free from his tricks and he must flee.

Later the enemy tried again to destroy Hope. Jesus was hung on a cross and beaten beyond recognition. Surely, the enemy believed he had won. Even Jesus followers were hiding and now Satan's greatest weapon was about to be unfurled. He hurled death upon Jesus in the most horrific way for all to see and know that Hope was gone. Even the sky turned black in sorrow. But that isn't the end of the story! Death did not win! Jesus took Satan's greatest weapon and turned it into Hope's greatest victory. Because He rose again! He is alive forevermore!!! He has lived with us and He knows us and He has gone to prepare a place for us that will be even better than our greatest imagination! In the midst of such tragedy we will cry and we will hurt. But we can Hope! We can Hope that one day we will see Him and each other once again. This isn't a hope like we blow out our candles and hope we get our wish. This is living real Hope for a forever place where there is no more pain or goodbyes or senseless atrocities. It is a place where those little children are safe and one day if we will accept the invitation, it is a place we will have the joy of entering, also.

We live in dark days. We live in frightening days. But we have a choice. We can live in fear and trembling or we can live with victorious hope knowing that in the end our Savior wins!!! That is the safest place our babies can be. That is how we can go on after news stories such as this. That is how we can kiss our baby on the cheek and send them through their day. It is by knowing the Hope that we have in Christ. He will keep His little ones safe even if sometimes that means keeping them safe in Heaven, where we will one day join them and have eternity to love on them.

Honestly, I started out writing with a whole different story but this is where God took me so this is where I will end. However, I would be a fool to believe that every person who reads this blog knows personally of the Hope that I have spoken of. If you are one who has that Hope, be encouraged to share it and treasure it and protect it because it is a treasure worth giving your life for. Jesus did. But if you read this and wonder if you have it or wonder how to get it, click on the picture below and it will take you to a link that will very briefly explain how to have that Hope living in you. I pray that you will accept that Hope whose name is Jesus into your life and if you do, would you let me know so that I can rejoice with you? Thank you and welcome to the family!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us

Click here to learn how to know that Hope.

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A Peace of Heaven on Earth

12/12/2012

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Click the picture for a song.

This past week I was reminded of one of the most precious gifts God gave us on Christmas. There are many things I could list because all of His gifts are a treasure but this one struck me for many reasons.

I had the privilege of coordinating the prayer room during WLMB's Christmas Sharathon. How that came about can be summed up in two words: my brother. Because he knows me he thought it might be a good fit. He was so right! We only have a gas guzzling 15 passenger van right now so I stayed in Toledo with him and his wife Jessie rather than drive back and forth. I loved getting to hold baby Nathan while his Mommy got the older kids ready for school. Later Lillian was a ballerina dancing with her Daddy to music we used to love as kids. Memories of reinacting the Kid's Praise albums (yes, albums) or Nathaniel the Grublet and Music Machine raced through my mind. Our parents were so good to instill such wholesome things into our minds at such a young age. In the meantime, my own family was home working together to make sure everyone got where they needed to be and that they ate. I know it wasn't easy because there are a lot of schedules and Marty just started on third shift the same week. Still when I cam home there was a wonderful welcome and a clean house. Yes, what a treasure family is!

But that isn't exactly the precious gift I am speaking of, though it is close. As I met volunteers in the prayer room I was blessed. We opened every new shift in prayer which brought back wonderful memories of being the prayer team leader in Bettsville for many years until we moved away. As phones would ring volunteers would talk, listen and pray for the concerns of each caller. It was incredible how God orchestrated each call to match with the experience of the volunteer. There were no memorized prayers but every single one came from the heart often leaving the volunteer in tears as they made a note to continue praying when they went home. There are so many people who called in with an ache in their heart because Christmas would be lonely and WLMB was the only source of encouragement they had. Mothers and grandmas were praying for the salvation of their families and healings and safety for the troops especially their loved ones. Fathers who wanted the same things and also so many who are praying for jobs. Over and over again I could hear volunteers encouraging the caller to reach out to their church family.

The church family is the precious gift I am thinking of today. In between calls the room was not silent as we got to know each other. I was recognized by Sherry as the girl with hair past her waist in Genoa! I still can't figure out how she put that together since that was like 30 years ago and I was blonde then. A few more ladies realized we go to the same church and had connections there. One man was the uncle of my dear friend Judy whom I had the joy of running track and cross country with. The people on those teams and the coaches all had such a huge impact in shaping my life to encourage and persevere. I thought of all the teachers as well who poured their lives into me.

On Thursday night a group of about 9 guys from a Bible study came in to volunteer. You could hear them laughing and bantering all the way down the hall. When they entered the room, it lit up. The youngest one, I believe they said, was about 63 years old and on up into their 80's. One of the men came up to me with his hand on my shoulder and a twinkle in his eye, he said, "Do you think you can handle all these guys?" I said that I had 5 boys at home, I'd be fine. He grinned and said that he had 5 sons, too, and 2 daughters. I laughed because I did, too. Another man came in and told me about his painting. His business card included a picture that was beautiful. I thought immediately of our dear friend Frank who has taught Jared the art of creating gorgeous art with markers. (I intend to share that whole story one day soon as it deserves a whole blog.) The men shared how they met their wives and some of the stories were hilarious. What struck me was the tenderness in their eyes as each one told me how precious their wife was to them. These men could have you in stitches and my face ached from smiling but when a phone would ring they were all business as they poured out their requests to God their Father. They sat around discussing what service they could do next. Saturday they were going to be ringing bells for Salvation Army and what about those kids wandering around on the streets of Toledo. Maybe we could get out a grill and give them a hot dog while we share with them the love of Jesus?

One person and I discovered that we both knew Larry and Gloria. A rush of happy thoughts filled my mind and I just wished I could give them both a giant hug. It was Gloria who took this little dancer and many others under her wing and taught them what it is to worship God with our dance. She and her husband were there for sooo many important things in my life. I wonder do they know what a treasure they are to me? Another man knew Bob Kutz and I nearly cried. He officiated our wedding. The advice he gave us in premarriage counseling is priceless and still rolls through my mind often. We lost a precious man when he went to be with Jesus.

Someone asked how I learned so much about Excel and I thought of all the people at Riddell. So many different people who gave me what they knew and let me run with it. Friends who I saw everyday. Friends who made me better. I thought of the recent loss of one who often came to me for prayer and dished out encouragement by the barrel but recently and unexpectedly went to be with Jesus. I thought of each person there and wondered do they know what a treasure they are to me? I thought of Janie and how she helped me find the job. She has been through so much with me. Does she know what an anchor she has been? My Dad always prayed for wisdom for his kids. I had no idea it would come in the form of such wise friends.

With only 45 seconds left in the Sharathon we met our goal. The whole prayer room erupted in cheers and laughter even while three more volunteers were taking pledges! We had all worked and prayed together and it was such a joy to see the end result! Everyone left hoping to get the opportunity to work together again at the next one. When Aaron asked me if I enjoyed it, I beamed, "Of course, I did. It was like having a little peace of Heaven right here on earth."

When God sent His Son to earth, He created a whole new family. It's a family that will never end. There may be a, "see you later on the other side", but never a "good bye". He put a super natural connection between us that causes us to be willing to give of ourselves even when it's not for our benefit.  The family of God is so precious to Him that it is the only thing we can take with us when we go to Heaven and in fact, when we get there we get the joy of meeting more of our family! I love thinking that someday we will have eternity to be together. We can tell of our adventures in His Story each with exquisite detail and even after everyone has shared we will have no less time to enjoy Heaven and our Father than we did before we started.

This Christmas I hope you will make time to treasure not only your biological family here on earth but also the church family that God has put in your life to make you the incredible person you are. I hope you will make time to reach out to those who are alone and remind them that they have a family, too.

I want to end by saying that this was by no means a complete list of all the people who are dear to me. It is simply the people who came up during the Sharathon and they represent so many different areas of my life that it seemed good to mention them as examples. One that I did not mention though was Wayne. He was my bus driver and we would spend the whole hour bus ride talking about all sorts of things everyday. He went to my church and was a dear friend of the family. His boys ran track and cross country at the same time as me so he was at every meet and I would listen for him to cheer as I ran by. At the end he was a great big fatherly bear hug. One year he even promised me a t-shirt if I met my goal. I fell just short but he gave it to me anyway. His wife said he bought it before the race.  Several years later he moved away and not on a happy note. I always hoped maybe I'd see him again but he went to be with Jesus before that day came. The following day was a year since we lost Aunt Pete in the accident.

Don't wait to say, I love you! Don't wait to say, I forgive you! Don't wait because the family of God is a little peace of Heaven on earth that we need to treasure.

Just a couple old pictures I could find to spur you to your own memories.

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Christmas Parties

12/3/2012

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This week I found myself at a Christmas Party. I would have much rather been anywhere but there, however, here I was sitting among a myriad of complete strangers. I tried miserably to start a couple conversations but I couldn't find a connection to work off of so conversations fell on the floor like crumbs. The open bar behind me was never empty and I couldn't wait to finish eating, listen for the winners of the door prizes and get out of there before anyone got too drunk. Karaoke and dancing were not of any interest to me so the sooner we could get out of there the better. Unfortunately, my plans were thwarted as they said the door prizes would be announced randomly throughout the evening. Personally I really didn't care about the prizes but they were kind of an indicator of when you could politely leave. So there I sat leaned up against my husband for warmth as I sipped my water and waited for the time to pass.

Eventually, toward the end of the night a man came over who obviously knew Marty. His words were slurred with drunkenness as he went on to say some derogatory and untrue things about one of my children. The mama bear in my wanted to rip my claws across his face or at least stuff a dirty sock in his mouth. He went on proclaiming to love my child like his own. Emotions I didn't know I was capable of rose up within me and I leaned a little harder on my husband who kept his arm around my shoulder. Then to top it off he acknowledged that he knew we were Christians because he knew our child and he wanted to let us know he was a Christian, too. Thankfully he decided to stumble away at that point or I'm not sure I could have kept biting my tongue. At that point I no longer cared if it was polite or not, it was time to leave. I fumed all the way home. Marty just kept reminding me that he was drunk and to let it go. I didn't want to.

The next morning scenes played over and over in my mind of people at the party. They were dressed nicely. No one was really mean or rude, even the man who set me off was trying to be "nice". They all seemed to be having a good time singing and dancing. Laughter could be heard throughout the room and even conversations were at times drowning out the music. It was me who was out of place and it got me thinking.

What is it like for an unbeliever to feel obligated to go to a Christmas service at the church? There everyone is dressed nicely and they are kind. But is that where it ends for them just like the party should have ended for me? As they look around at all the happy strangers do they feel unable to connect? They here promises of "prizes" like peace and joy but they have to endure the whole services to get it. People around them only compound their discomfort and desire to leave as they sing and dance to songs they don't know, either. Well meaning people tell them how much they care about them all the while the unbeliever is thinking, "you have no idea what you are talking about, how dare you pretend to understand me." By the end of service they've been told things that kind of got in there face and maybe it set them off so that as soon as the service is over they are ready to run for the car and get out of there, fuming all the way home.

Now before I'm misunderstood, I am NOT saying we shouldn't invite them to church or that we should stop having Christ centered services because it might make someone uncomfortable. But I am pondering. So many times especially at Christmas and Easter I hear people putting so much hope into a church service that they finally got their love one to agree to come to. They think that somehow just by getting them in the door they will see what a wonderful time it is for us and they will want to be part of it, but I think more often than not the results are disappointing and maybe even discouraging as the unbeliever swears to never do that again.

I wonder, are we approaching this with a misguided mindset? Just as I was totally uncomfortable and couldn't wait to flee from the party maybe unbelievers are just as uncomfortable in our services. What if instead of hoping to get someone to church so they can hear a message - what if we lived a message? What if at work when we were getting coffee, we met them where they are and shared our story? What if as we sat next to them at the kids Winter Choir Concert we connected with them? What if at the grocery store we offered a kind and understanding word when their child is out of sorts? What if instead of working so hard to bring them into our comfort zone, we worked just as hard to be the light in their comfort zone? What if instead of begging them to come to our party we begged God to soften their hearts and show us how to go to them?

The following Sunday our pastor shared about Christmas from the angels’ perspective. He talked about what a great privilege it must have been to tell Mary and Joseph of what God was going to do. He told rather convincingly of how the angels must have been on the edge of Heaven waiting to proclaim the good news of what God had done through the birth of Jesus to the shepherds. Do we consider it a privilege to share of what God has done in our lives? Do we wait eagerly for those times when we will have the opportunity to share our story which is really His story? Do we live our lives in such a way that our story reflects our Savior? It is so easy to get caught up in the cares of this world and become unfruitful as we take care of this and that but it is all in vain if we do not live a life that brings glory to Him. He asked us to go and tell. Why are we so afraid? It is simply the story that He is writing that we have to share. He didn't say beat them over the head or bully them into believing. He didn't even say we had to convince them into believing he simply said to go and tell His story. A witness in a trial has only to tell what they saw. It is not their job to convince anyone of anything, they simply tell their story. The convincing is up to the lawyers and the judgment is up to the judge. We are simply the witnesses. Are we telling His story with gladness? Are we living His story with integrity before him so that our story is something others will want to hear?

This Christmas I am going to think a little more outside the box. I will look for ways to meet people where they are and tell them His story. After all isn't that what this season is all about - Jesus coming to meet us where we are?

Dear Lord,
I pray for all my friends who read this blog. Would you help us all to live Your story with integrity and share it in love with our neighbors right where they are. Give us the boldness we need to do whatever You put on each of our hearts to do. I pray that you would prepare the hearts of the people we would share with and that you would bring the right people into our paths who will be able to relate to each of our unique stories and that we would point them to You.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

Marty's Mom came over and helped us add some Christmas lights to the house. It's amazing how much time it takes for that little bit. I like it though.

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Pruning

11/24/2012

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Pruning is very real to me right now and you will probably notice that I have not posted a blog for almost a month. Just about the time I last posted, our yard was taken over for about a week by trucks and tools and noise. It was very distracting. I couldn't help but laugh at us as we would spend countless amounts of time just watching out the window to watch yet another branch fall to the ground. When the pieces of trunk came down it would thud and shake the whole house leaving large crators at the foot of the once tall trees.

When my kids came home from school they couldn't believe I would let them destroy our beautiful trees. One of them went so far as to slam their back pack to the ground shouting, "What do they think they're doing?! They ruined our tree!" I could certainly understand their sentiment. It did seem a bit sad. After all, these trees had stood the test of time. They had protected the house from the wind and the sun. They had housed squirrels and birds and maybe even a raccoon or two. They added to the beauty of our home. Yes, part of me wanted to throw down my dish towel and exclaim, "Yeah, what do they think they're doing?"

In truth, the trees had been good but some of them were all used up. One was hollow and very near the house. One was sick and dead branches claimed most of the trunk. Another seemed fine to us but when looked at with eyes that know, it was sickly. The last one was growing so much in the shade of the greater tree that it was deformed and scraggly. Finally, the one that brought the greatest protest was simply being pruned. I reminded the kids of how their dad used to go out to our willow tree in Bettsville every spring and cut it's brances so short it seemed he had given it a butch cut. But before spring had even fully bloomed the branches were full and beautiful again. It didn't seem to help much as our once willow like tree looked more like something you'd see in a movie filmed in Africa.

We've gotten used to the bare yard now and actually the pruned tree is quite neat looking, especially at night with the midnight blue sky and stars behind it's stark blackness. It also opens up the yard so the boys can play ball better. It isn't a tree that is supposed to hang the way it did but the weight of overgrown branches pulled it down. Now it raises it's hands to Heaven and claps with the wind in praise to it's Creator. I have a better understanding now of why Jesus talks of pruning as a good thing. I shudder at the thought of what may have happened in our tiny taste of Hurricane Sandy when it rained and the wind blasted us for days. Would those sickly trees have stood the test or would our warm dry house have been broken open?

The work on the trees was actually a gift to us as a memorial to Aunt Pete. I don't know if they want their names known so I won't say but it was perfect timing. One of our concerns was the trees and how sickly and overgrown they were but we were not in a position to pay someone to take care of them nor did we know how to do it ourselves. When this couple came to us with this memorial it was such a huge relief to know that they would be taken care of. I look forward to someday soon planting a new sapling to shade the porch.

As I've been pondering all that we watched and going through my everyday I have been encouraged to know that God prunes us. For instance, if he is pruning us it means he doesn't see us as one of the hopeless that simply had to come down. When he prunes us, he is looking closely at each piece of our lives and deciding which is necessary and which is too much. It is because of His grace that He doesn't allow us to hold on to every piece that we consider necessary. When He prunes us He has to hold onto us to cut in just the right place and in the right way but we are in His hands and He is the master. He will not cut in any way that would bring harm. In fact, the pruning may hurt but it is for our strengthening.

Similarly, I have been working closely with Suzanne (Marty's Mom) to clean up sections of the house. It still isn't what I hope it will be one day, not even close, but it is better. We have purged a lot of clutter and made it so we can function better. It's amazing to me how having her come to help has kept me going. She would tell you she doesn't even do anything but her encouragement and being able to keep normal tasks running and her help sorting has been an immeasurable help to me. Again, I think of how God purges things from our life. He usually sends someone along to push us even when we don't want to be pushed. He often sends someone else to encourage us to do the right thing even if we are too overwhelmed to do it. He often sends someone to help us bear the burden when we think it can't be done and someone else who can point out our junk so we can make a choice. Neither pruning or purging is fun and often it hurts a lot but God in His goodness loves us too much to let us cling to those things that will harm us, even if it means sending someone we would rather wasn't in our lives. (For the record, that isn't Suzanne or anyone else specifically in my life at the moment.) However, I must admit I pushed back and feared her coming to help because I believed that she wanted me to do the impossible. What I found out is that it isn't impossible. Now I have a home, that while it is not everything I want, progress is being made and we are even starting to feel comfortable. Funny how the things we fight often bring us the most comfort.

My being able to write this today, is even part of the pruning and purging in our lives. Kristin has a job but it's only 3 hours each day worked. However, after six faithful years our car finally drove it's last mile. Now I have to take Marty to work in order to have a car to take Kristin to work. Since our van guzzles the gas like there is no tomorrow, I am not about to drive 20 minutes home just to turn around and pick her up again. So here I am at the library finally working on my blog which is something I feel called to do, but can never seem to find the time, in order to save gas. I don't imagine I'll put all this time into writing a blog so maybe I'll even have time to work on the book I started. Only God knows.

Much of the work that has been done these last few weeks is not going to really show in pictures but I'll include some to show where we are for those of you who like to know. I like sharing. :)

You can click on the pictures and it will make a slide show with a caption under each picture to explain what's going on. May God's grace reign as you are pruned as well.

Many Blessings,
Misty Sunshine

John 15:1-4
“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. 3 You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. 4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

My greatest bithday present is that Eli and Noah were baptized that morning. Unfortunately its all video and I can't seem to get it to work on here. If Josh can figure out a way to get it I'll add it later.

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Trust

10/15/2012

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Click on picture for a song.

"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. Just to take Him at His Word..."

The words washed over me like a warm shower after a rainy October walk.

"Just to rest upon His promise; Just to know, Thus saith the Lord."

I closed my eyes and sang with all my might.

"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him! How I've proved him o'er and o'er!"

My mind raced to keep up with the many many times He has been faithful to keep His promises. Why then do I doubt and fear?

"Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust him more!" I reached out for my Heavenly Daddy and begged for the grace to trust more.

All too soon the song was over and back into reality I walked as I filed out of the pew. Friendly strangers smiled all around me and welcomed me to their church. I felt good to be welcomed. We had tried another church closer to home but after many weeks of trying we just didn't seem to mesh with them. They did nothing wrong in fact we loved their theology but somehow we just didn't feel like we fit in. So far this church seemed to be working out as connection after connection was made, some of them with old friends we hadn't seen in years. We met several other large families who home school, too. What a relief it was to feel like maybe we had found our church home.

The next morning I woke up with that same song going through my head over and over again. I had no idea how much I would need that song in the coming weeks. I didn't need it to get through a lot of BIG things but I had time to ponder it. When the money we needed was more than the paycheck..."Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus" instead of money. When I wanted to worry about some issues with my kids.."just to take Him at His Word" instead of believing it's all on my shoulders. When I got lost going to Victoria's cross country meet and I was running too late..."just to rest upon his promise" instead of freaking out. When I tried to organize the living room and couldn't make it work..."just to know thus saith the Lord", all I need to do is ask and He will give me creativity to do what I need to. When I went wedding dress shopping with my sister and dressed my son up for his first Homecoming Dance...Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him. He loves them even more than I do and He will take care of them even when I'm not in control. When we tried to put the ceiling up in the laundry room and it looked like a million bullet holes had been blown through it..."how I've proved him o'er and o're", He has always provided a way to do what was needed.

The last line troubled me though as I pondered. In order to trust him more I would need to be in a place of needing Him more meaning I'm at the end of me again. I thought back to the time I was thanking God for all He had given us and He spoke to my heart saying, do you really love Me or do you love the things I give you? That wasn't an easy question and living the answer proved even more difficult than I could have imagined. I was tempted to delete that line from my song that had turned into a perpetual prayer. But the idea of being satisfied with the amount of trust I currently have was not OK. I found myself understanding a little better why God let's us struggle through things. He wants us to grow into even more than we believe is possible.

When I faced a disappointment that threatened to take me down..."Oh, for grace to trust You more." When I faced a situation where I felt cheated and disheartened.."Oh for grace". When I looked around at my house and felt overwhelmed..."oh for grace to trust". When I faced a new situation and having to be confident in something I didn't know how to do..."oh for grace". I found in that song a comfort, a reminder and a challenge. Isn't it so like God to give me a song for strength as He knew the challenges I would face.

One morning recently I read, "Our Daily Bread" a daily devotional and the story talked about a woman in a seemingly hopeless situation who always seemed to have a smile through it all. One thing she was known to say was that her children were in His hands. When one of them was tragically killed she said at the funeral, "My child is still in His hands." It broke my heart and I prayed again, "oh for grace to trust Him more". Later that day I learned that a dear friend of mine from work had gone to be in His hands while she slept the night before. It came out of no where. She was so full of love and joy and life. All of us are in complete shock. But God in His grace without my even knowing it had begun to prepare me to be able to trust that she is in His hands still.

Though it was the beginning of the song that had been my constant companion now the last verse suddenly sprang to life:

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Thank you, Lord for being with her and being with me. I began singing out loud as I continued living the many emotions of my life.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Click on picture for more about salvation.

P.S. In case any of you don't know this...Life is short and full of the unexpected sometimes good and sometimes not so good. But through it all Jesus has promised that He will never leave or forsake us. But we have left and forsaken Him. Because our hearts are sinful we have all broken His laws and therefore there is a huge chasim between us and Him. The good news is that He never breaks His promise so he has built a bridge across the chasim in the shape of a cross. It is a cross that cost Him His very life to construct but He did it because He loves us and wanted us to have a way to Him. There are many who stand on the opposite side of Him and look across to see Him but refuse to walk across. These people often look and play the part of a good person or even a church person but they are still on the wrong side. May I beg you, if you have not put Your life His hands, please cross that bridge and be on His side, your very soul depends on it. He doesn't promise an easy life but He does promise life eternal. Contact me or someone you know who loves the Lord if you want to know more about any of this or how to cross the bridge. Life is too uncertain to be uncertain of where you will end up.

With Love,
Misty Sunshine

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I Can't Take It Anymore

9/27/2012

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Click on the picture for a very encouraging song.

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! My eyes scanned the bill quickly looking for some mistake, some catch. Surely this was incorrect or maybe it was for multiple months. But try as I might, there was no mistake. This was our water and electric bill for one month! I freaked out. How could we possibly afford to live here when our water alone was over $300? My mind raced through scenarios of how to stop using water.

I thought about all the laundry we do everyday. I have been using the washer that was already here until we can get my high efficiency one set up. The one that was here is much smaller so I run a lot more loads with a lot more water. So much for being patient and getting bedrooms done first. We were going to have to get my washer hooked up fast. However, we wanted to put the washer and dryer under the stairs and out of the kitchen. There is already plumbing because right then it was the awkward bathroom. But Sunday had been so nice since we finally had two bathrooms, we didn't have to start getting ready for church by 6:30am. I had thought maybe we would wait even longer to change anything. It wasn't what we wanted but it could work. Not to mention, my washer leaks sometimes and we didn't want to ruin the floor, maybe by the time we made the switch I could just get a new one that didn't leak. So much for that idea, we needed to make a change NOW.

Next I thought about the dishes. I have a high efficiency dishwasher sitting on the back porch but the old dishwasher we took out is so old that the plumbing and electrical hook ups don't match today's dishwashers. It certainly uses less water than I do since I fill up the sink many times a day to keep up with the piles of dishes. I thought I was being patient and not putting an extra burden on my husband by nagging for a dishwasher. I wondered what it would cost to use paper plates.

Next I considered showers... But the washer was the one thing I could work on now so into the awkward bathroom I went and started cleaning it out. Then I started taking apart the stand up shower but it seemed like it was attached to the floor somehow. I tried everything I could think of, even looking up You Tube videos of how to remove a shower. All of them said if the drain didn't come apart that I would have to cut the pipe. I didn't want to lose that drain pipe though because we were going to get a plastic pan that sits under the washer and have the leak drain out through what was the shower drain. I spent 2 hours trying to get this thing out, even going to the hardware store twice but in the end I started cutting the drain pipe which meant digging through insulation and reaching to a very awkward place over the pile of coal in the basement. Jared came home and saw what I was doing. After looking at it for a minute he went upstairs and lifted the shower off the drain. I could not believe my eyes. I didn't even have to cut the pipe! The insulation was holding it down not the drain. I was fit to be tied. I had to go pick up and drop off people since one of our cars wasn't working and when I returned Jared had the sink out as well as the toilet. I could have saved a lot of time and just let him do the whole thing!

Due to many years of unvented shower steam the walls under the stairs were a mess. I went to the store to get the things we would need to prepare the new laundry room. Marty was at work so I thought I'd surprise him and go get the supplies myself. I got drywall, paint, and flooring. While I was there a young girl came up to me and asked if she could give me her gift card for the returns she just made and I could give her cash for gas. She was even willing to take half of the card value, she just needed some gas. I've been there. I know that desperation and frustration. So I think it was a God thing because I was able to show her the grace of God and gave her full value for the card which she insisted I use first to make sure it was valid. We had to wait for Josh so I got to spend some time listening and sharing with her about God's love. I was certain it had been a meeting set up by God and I left feeling quite happy. Marty was less impressed as he looked over all the "pretty" stuff I got and wondered where all the supplies were for behind the wall or under the floor. I hadn't thought about that stuff. There is a reason we are a team, I think I got a little rambunctious - again.

As I said earlier the car was also broken so we were guzzling the gas with our van making multiple trips taking people to work and practices. I was spending every day driving more than I was home. It was becoming ridiculous. I remembered the excessive amount of pipe Marty bought when we were working on the upstairs bathroom because he really didn't know what we would need and the many trips to the store were getting very expensive and old. I went through the house and collected them all. I even wiped off the dust and found the receipts for each one. I had over $100 to return which was perfect because the part we needed for the car was just that. My heart soared as I drove to the store to return the pipes and get money to get the car fixed. I was dumbfounded when the store clerk said the receipts were too old I could only get store credit. I begged and pleaded. She talked to her manager but alas store credit it was. It was almost time to close and try as I might I could not find one person who would give me money for the card. I left the store very dejected and angry. How ironic. I had a good cry all the way home.

Soon after I was going to my room in the dark and heard the laundry sink running at full blast. In anger I slammed the handle down as I said, "With our water bill who would leave the water.." I stopped mid sentence. The handle didn't move and the sound continued. Putting my hand under the faucet did not feel wet. I flipped on the light and called Marty into the room. We searched around and found a water fall running down our basement wall. The pipe to the washer had burst and from the placement of the water we found out why our water bill was so high. It had been leaking for quite some time. We had to shut the water off to the whole house because there was no valve to stop it. The next afternoon my dad came over and fixed the problem but there was no longer any water to the washer. Out of desperation to do piles of laundry Marty put the garden hose through the window and hooked it to the washer. It worked!

That Saturday Marty and I were trying to figure out what to do. There was so much between the car and laundry room and just the house in general. We had no money so it made doing anything feel impossible but sometimes God directs by not providing what we think we need. We did the only thing we had provision for. We went to the store and used our store credit to get the rest of the things we needed for the laundry room. This time we went together and it was good to spend some time without the kids. I think some time together was what we needed even more than any of the other things screaming for our attention.

The next few days a lot of stress just kept compounding from driving all day every day to being unable to pay for things because of the amount of gas costs to forgetting people or appointments and the list could go on. I had just had enough. I was on my way to pick up Marty, driving on a quiet country road with no one anywhere and I just lost it. I yelled as loud as I could, "I can't do this anymore!!! Do You even care!? Where are You?..." By the time I got to Marty, I was hoarse and weary. There was no answer from Heaven. Just silence. But I knew that I was at the end of me. I had done all that I knew to do. I had tried to do all the right things. I had asked for help but none could be given. I had no where left to turn. I held nothing back but poured it all out to Him who sits on the Throne of Heaven and He heard my cry. A little while later the car was fixed and the laundry room was underway. The problem of the water was fixed and the hose will hopefully soon be gone from our window. The utility company gave us a small discount on the sewer part of the bill and worked out a managable payment plan for the rest. Was God finally moving because I yelled? No. He was moving all along. I just couldn't see it. I had to come to the end of myself so I could know He had this thing under His control despite how it looked to me. I can enter into His rest knowing that or I can keep trying to make it all work myself. It is such a hard lesson to learn and one I must easliy forget because He keeps having to teach it again and again. But in his incredible love and patience He continues to shape and mold me even when I cry out and think it's more than I can bear. He sees the bigger picture and He loves me enough to ignore my whining for the sake of becoming all that He intended me to be. I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10
8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

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Patience

9/20/2012

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Patience is not a word I like today. I feel more like a puppy who can't sit still than a dove on its nest. Every morning cold air blasts through my kitchen window and reminds me I'm running out of time. But I still have to wait for the mud (joint compound) to dry before I can go to the next step. God knows all of this. It isn't a surprise to him. He knows every moment of my day before it even happens. But I don't. I worry. I worry that it won't get done fast enough. I worry that I won't have money to do it. I worry that I won't be able to figure out how to do it. I worry that by the time the house is a home all my children will have flown the nest.

It's not like I've never been out on a limb with God before. This should be old hat. God is in control. God knows and He has never failed. But it is so easy to want to grab the reins and control things myself. That's just it though. I'm not the one in control. He is and that is good. So today while the mud dries, way too slowly, I will share with you about another project that went way too slow. However, now its where I go to escape the stud walls, lath ceilings, and piles of mess. It is our bathroom.

When we accepted the house we knew the first project would have to be the bathroom. It had not been used for years because the cast iron drain had multiple holes in it. Pete had used the awkward bathroom squished under the stairs, which was fine for one person but not nine. We did at least put up a shower curtain for some privacy while we worked on the real bathroom. A long story short we ended up basically gutting it, even ripping up floor boards to get to the pipes that needed to be replaced. I can't find any pictures of the original room because they are packed somewhere in our living room (storage facility) but here are some of the earliest pictures I have.

This is looking in from the hallway after we put the floor back together.

To the right is where the toilet used to be before we ripped it out. Above is just a higher view looking in from the hallway.

This is from inside the bathroom looking toward the hallway.

It's amazing to me how little these pictures tell. Marty moved here in April to work so I thought he should be able to get a lot done and we could at least move in with a real bathroom. But in my desire to have it done I totally overlooked all the tiny details that were involved in what he did. When we would return on weekends it was very frustrating for all of us because we just weren't seeing the results we wanted. When he would tell us of what he did it seemed so trivial that tensions rose. I wonder if that's how I am with God. I'm not seeing the results I want so the intricate details of all that He is doing in our lives seem less than sufficient when in fact, they are the most important. What if, just to make us happy, Marty would have hurried the process with the pipes and quickly covered them with what I wanted - a floor. In only seconds the water damage would destroy the very thing I wanted and create a much bigger mess. Maybe some of my tension would decrease if I would stop trying to rush and appreciate all the details that God is working out in me.

Finally we were going to put in the exhaust fan! Again, I overlooked the "little" things. Just put a hole in the ceiling and ta-da we have a light/fan. Well...the box for the fan was bigger than the hole that was already there. Ok, so make the hole bigger, right? Yes, but that brought a flood of newly blown in insulation and a much bigger hole than we needed. Also, in order to exhaust the bathroom we had to run a duct from the fan to the outside. Remember the 18 inch think blanket of insulation and the over 100 degree days? Well, I was shaking and sweating as I placed one board in front of the other crawling 15 feet across beams I couldn't see in the attic. One wrong move and through the ceiling I would go. Marty had a ladder on the porch roof as he drilled through the outer wall to connect the duct work. Yeah, I discovered the hard way just how much it takes to get those "little" things done.

Rather large hole for the exhaust fan.

Insulation mess. We did bag it and put it back but that wasn't easy either.

The hole is repaired!!!

DONE!! Seems so simple doesn't it?

Card box made by Sandy New.

Even though I felt like all the details were impossibly slow we did eventually get to paint. The only problem was we were all moved in and the cost of renting a truck and gas and food and tolls, etc. had drained our pockets. Again, God in His perfect timing already had that under control, before I even knew I needed it. When I left my job at Riddell, my friends there all got together and surprised me with an adorable box of cards filled with gift cards to Home Depot and Lowe's! I had planned to use it for something special that I wouldn't otherwise get but at this point having a real bathroom would be pretty special. I picked out a new shower curtain which I normally wouldn't do and used that to determine the whole look of the bathroom. It even has scripture on it which I had originally wanted to put on the wall but I like this much better.

The bathroom is now "done" thanks to a lot of people who worked together and gave a gift. I would still like to do a few things with the bathroom but I will have to be patient. It's time to move on to other projects that are also a great need. But when I get overwhelmed I go back to my bathroom and remind myself, "It can be done. It can be done..." So I must be patient and wait for that mud to dry and there's nothing I can do to rush it. God has it under control and He's working out the details I don't even know about. Ok, maybe I feel a little less like a puppy now. Maybe I'm more of a tiger watching his prey - patiently waiting for the right moment but ever so ready to pounce when it comes.

James 1:2 - 5
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.