Click picture for a song. Sometimes I wish my life could be a book but probably not for the reasons you might think a writer would think that. It's so that I could write into my life - "Some time later..." Or maybe "After awhile..." I wouldn't actually have to walk through the seconds of the mundane or the struggle. I would just skip over that part for the sake of the reader. But life doesn't work that way. We must wake up each morning, put one foot in front of the other and live every moment of our days - good, bad or indifferent. I would like to write to you and say that after some time I am just fine with our house and we are all completely satisfied with how our lives are. I guess that would make for a pretty boring book, so God the author of our lives keeps us interesting making our lives a story worth reading. I do sometimes wish for a boring chapter though.
Nothing has changed on the house. The counters still fill up with dishes and the laundry room is never empty. Puppy's toys are forever being stepped on and someone is always in the bathroom when you need it, but that isn't so different from other houses, if my guess is right. I have been considering all the good that has come from moving here. I'll try to name a few: Timing was perfect - it allowed Joshua to graduate and Kristin to start at Penta just when she needed to. We live in a town that is quiet and "safe". We have no business being able to live here on our income but in God's grace we are privileged to sit outside and let our kids go to the pool and not be afraid. Noah and Eli have learned to swim and all the kids love hanging out at the pool. All of us have lost weight and feel healthier. We are at a church that is good for our whole family. Josh has had many opportunities to use his musical talents in the way he feels he ought. Jared is getting to rise up as a leader and being given freedom to teach and learn. Kristin has made friends both saved and not yet but we have the privilege of loving them into the family of God. Victoria is running cross country and track and marching in the band. She is stretching herself in ways she never has and she is growing stronger in the Lord. Matthew is finding work and getting to earn a little for his hard work. Noah and Eli are gaining confidence and friends and they are allowed to play outside so much more. We finally got the puppy everyone wanted. Marty is getting to coach and substitute teach. I am working only part time and we are still paying all of our bills. We are home owners. We have been closer to family both to help them and receive help from them. AND it has been such a joy actually going to kids programs and having their grandparents get to come.
All of these things and more are possible in whole or in part because we moved here. God is so good and kind. His ways are so much greater than ours. Yet, I still struggle with wanting a nicer looking house and I grow impatient in the wait, because I can't just skip ahead to the chapter where I have truly learned contentment in it's full measure.
Something I did notice though that I thought I might share because I know I'm not the only one on earth who has ever desired something they don't have. I know I am not the only person who has had to let dreams be rearranged by life. I know I am not the only person that has sought something and not gotten it. I noticed this when I had some time to let the fact that we didn't get the loan sink in. I became "lost". I had spent so much time and energy thinking about and planning and expecting, that I suddenly had no idea what to do with myself. I had a hard time doing the normal everyday stuff because honestly, I felt like, "What's the point? This is how it is. This is how it always will be. Why bother." Then I was hit with a realization. I had been so consumed with making the house into what I wanted that it became the thing I sought. It became my reason for accomplishing. It became what woke me up in the morning. And that, my friends, is not OK. I was not created to pour my all into a project. I was not designed to seek first the roof and windows. I was created to pour my all in to the work set before me by my Lord. I was designed to seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness. Even though there is nothing wrong with a home and wanting to fix it and make it nice, there is something wrong with putting that first in your life and God will not share first place. He won't share it with our family or friends or dreams or ministries. He must be first and I had gotten my eyes off of that. I could tell you a lot of good reasons that I needed to focus on the house but that didn't make it right to seek that above all else.
I don't know what God's plan is for the house but I must trust Him one day at at time to take care of our needs. Pastor Scott has said multiple times that to be blessed is to have what you need to accomplish what God has for you to do and to be cursed is to lack what you to need to accomplish what He wants. When I consider that definition of blessing instead of the world's which says you have to have the nicest and the best, I realize just how truly and absolutely blessed we are. Our house doesn't have to be pretty to welcome in a friend and love on them. Our house doesn't have to be pretty to relate to a new neighbor who is having landlord issues and feels their home is lesser. Our house doesn't have to be pretty to have deep spiritual discussions with my teenagers as they wrestle with the things they read in scripture. It doesn't have to be pretty to give someone a smile when you walk down the street and see their entire countenance lift. We have been able to do and be so many things for His Kingdom and not one of them requires that our house is pretty. We are BLESSED!
My hope is that you will read this and be encouraged to look at all that you have been blessed with and take your eyes off of what you think you need. If you need it God has promised to give it. Maybe what we are considering a need God knows is not and that's why we don't have it, despite our greatest efforts. Instead of wondering what we've done wrong to deserve such lack, we should look at all we do have and ask what is it that You want me to do with this? If we can change our thinking and get our minds off of our selves and our own plans maybe it would position us to better hear His plans and use what He has already provided. There is no satisfaction like that which Jesus can give when He speaks to our hearts, "Well done". Enjoy your journey until next time.
Many many blessings in Christ,
Misty Sunshine
Nothing has changed on the house. The counters still fill up with dishes and the laundry room is never empty. Puppy's toys are forever being stepped on and someone is always in the bathroom when you need it, but that isn't so different from other houses, if my guess is right. I have been considering all the good that has come from moving here. I'll try to name a few: Timing was perfect - it allowed Joshua to graduate and Kristin to start at Penta just when she needed to. We live in a town that is quiet and "safe". We have no business being able to live here on our income but in God's grace we are privileged to sit outside and let our kids go to the pool and not be afraid. Noah and Eli have learned to swim and all the kids love hanging out at the pool. All of us have lost weight and feel healthier. We are at a church that is good for our whole family. Josh has had many opportunities to use his musical talents in the way he feels he ought. Jared is getting to rise up as a leader and being given freedom to teach and learn. Kristin has made friends both saved and not yet but we have the privilege of loving them into the family of God. Victoria is running cross country and track and marching in the band. She is stretching herself in ways she never has and she is growing stronger in the Lord. Matthew is finding work and getting to earn a little for his hard work. Noah and Eli are gaining confidence and friends and they are allowed to play outside so much more. We finally got the puppy everyone wanted. Marty is getting to coach and substitute teach. I am working only part time and we are still paying all of our bills. We are home owners. We have been closer to family both to help them and receive help from them. AND it has been such a joy actually going to kids programs and having their grandparents get to come.
All of these things and more are possible in whole or in part because we moved here. God is so good and kind. His ways are so much greater than ours. Yet, I still struggle with wanting a nicer looking house and I grow impatient in the wait, because I can't just skip ahead to the chapter where I have truly learned contentment in it's full measure.
Something I did notice though that I thought I might share because I know I'm not the only one on earth who has ever desired something they don't have. I know I am not the only person who has had to let dreams be rearranged by life. I know I am not the only person that has sought something and not gotten it. I noticed this when I had some time to let the fact that we didn't get the loan sink in. I became "lost". I had spent so much time and energy thinking about and planning and expecting, that I suddenly had no idea what to do with myself. I had a hard time doing the normal everyday stuff because honestly, I felt like, "What's the point? This is how it is. This is how it always will be. Why bother." Then I was hit with a realization. I had been so consumed with making the house into what I wanted that it became the thing I sought. It became my reason for accomplishing. It became what woke me up in the morning. And that, my friends, is not OK. I was not created to pour my all into a project. I was not designed to seek first the roof and windows. I was created to pour my all in to the work set before me by my Lord. I was designed to seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness. Even though there is nothing wrong with a home and wanting to fix it and make it nice, there is something wrong with putting that first in your life and God will not share first place. He won't share it with our family or friends or dreams or ministries. He must be first and I had gotten my eyes off of that. I could tell you a lot of good reasons that I needed to focus on the house but that didn't make it right to seek that above all else.
I don't know what God's plan is for the house but I must trust Him one day at at time to take care of our needs. Pastor Scott has said multiple times that to be blessed is to have what you need to accomplish what God has for you to do and to be cursed is to lack what you to need to accomplish what He wants. When I consider that definition of blessing instead of the world's which says you have to have the nicest and the best, I realize just how truly and absolutely blessed we are. Our house doesn't have to be pretty to welcome in a friend and love on them. Our house doesn't have to be pretty to relate to a new neighbor who is having landlord issues and feels their home is lesser. Our house doesn't have to be pretty to have deep spiritual discussions with my teenagers as they wrestle with the things they read in scripture. It doesn't have to be pretty to give someone a smile when you walk down the street and see their entire countenance lift. We have been able to do and be so many things for His Kingdom and not one of them requires that our house is pretty. We are BLESSED!
My hope is that you will read this and be encouraged to look at all that you have been blessed with and take your eyes off of what you think you need. If you need it God has promised to give it. Maybe what we are considering a need God knows is not and that's why we don't have it, despite our greatest efforts. Instead of wondering what we've done wrong to deserve such lack, we should look at all we do have and ask what is it that You want me to do with this? If we can change our thinking and get our minds off of our selves and our own plans maybe it would position us to better hear His plans and use what He has already provided. There is no satisfaction like that which Jesus can give when He speaks to our hearts, "Well done". Enjoy your journey until next time.
Many many blessings in Christ,
Misty Sunshine
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